Where’s the Drugs… and Who are You

As if the cocaine wasn’t enough…. God damn the booze…
I couldn’t get it up right now if I tried… this couch suckss… and smells!! What the Fuck!!!
I need to get out of here… where… the… fuck… is here….
Where the he’ll am I….
London Phone book…. huh…
So a plane was involved obviously….
Unless I Michael Phelps’ed the Atlantic Ocean….
Yeah… definitely a plane… I mean look at my arms…
I couldn’t wrestle my way out of a wet paper with a fucking samurai sword…
Man those windows are huge…
Only thing going through my mind is how cool it would be to shove that grand piano out that mother fucker…
Man I gotta be on the top floor…
I’d be pissed if I wasnt…
I mean you don’t get wacked out of your fucking gord and wind up in a place like this unless your on the top floor…
Right?
Eh… whatever…
Oooohhh… lingerie… and…. she’s fat….
God damn it… yep… I did it… son of a bitch… I need more drugs… lost and lots of drugs… and booze…
And a hooker…
Oops… there she is…
Time to hide…
Oh shit… did she see me…
Nope… she’s. …
Leaving?
And she’s naked….
Definitely in France…
I pick the one fat chick in France… way to go dipshit…
Oh well…
Now…. where’s my clothes….
And wallet….
And morals….
Oh wait… I left the morals at home…
Wallet… check….
Phone… check… I think this my phone… yep… naked wife on the front… totally my phone…
Aaannndddd…. she’s calling…
Hello… I dear… yep still at work… um… well… I don’t know when I’ll be home….
As soon as I find my passport!!!!
OK dear I’ll keep yeah posted…
Yes… there was a hooker in my room…
Yes… I’m pretty sure I used protection… I think… yes dear I’m sure I did… how do I know?…
Well my dick hasn’t fallen off… and by the looks of her… I’m lucky I still have a dick….
Anyway… love you… ok…. bye….
Man… where is the rest of the cocaine!?!?!?!
Oh here we go… mmmmm yummy… and a good gummer… nom nom nom nom….
Numb… yes… good shit… now I know why I got the discount hooker… that coke was not cheap…
Good man… skimp on the pussy… not the drugs!!! At least your priorities are in order!!!
Ok… clothes… check… let’s get the fuck out of here before a fucking tiger walks out of the bathroom…
Oh hey look acid… what could possibly go wrong… everything… all in!!!
Man these hall ways are nicer than my house…
What the Fuck did I do last night…
Hmmm… spray paint on the wall…
20 bucks says that was you… idiot!
Yep… I WAS HERE…
and now I’m leaving… and not checking out…
Hey… if don’t remember checking in… why the fuck would I check out….
Aaannnnddddd….. slipping past the front desk….. is………. a….. success… whew…
Ok…
Oh… man its bright… what the shit…

Excuse me… thank you for your sunglasses

Ok…

CABBY!!! AIRPORT!!!

Say again… what lady friend… Oh guy… now I’m really confused….
Huh… the beautiful one…. yeah… let’s stop by pearl vision for ya on our way to the airport so you don’t kill your next fare in a head on collision with bad decisions…. shall we…
Wait… hot blonde!?!?!?!?
I knew I didn’t hit the fat one… score one for the team…. division champ… 15 years running… 40 years old and pull ass like a high school quarterback….
Ok that’s  enough… fucking drive…
AND DON’T HIT ANYTHING DANMIT… I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH DRUGS TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!!
Good ol airport security…
Um… yes… first class… the fuck do I look like… Kanye West… I would like to sit in the front of the plane…..
The pointy end dip shit
Take off… and…… FREE BOOZE!!!
Excuse me miss… where’s the bathroom… thanks… you wouldn’t happen to have a small portable mirror…. Oh you do… Oh thank you so much sweet heart………. razor blade???
Don’t say that word on a plane dipshit
No… ok…. nevermind… no I promise I won’t go towards the flight cabin….
Oh… ok…
I’m awake…. whoohooo…
Mile high club anyone!!!!!!
Nope… ok… I’ll go beat off…
Ah… home…
Man….
I have no idea what happened….
Wait what do you mean you did it…
Oh… so I pissed you off and…. you just put me on a plane… Oh I’m sure it was hilarious….
Mmmhmmm…. and…. ok… I see… ok… well… next time… at least pin a note to my shirt so I know what fucking country I’m in…
Ok… thanks….
I need a shower now…. gotta wash off the shame and daddy issues…
Your right hun… hahaha… there is no shame…
Ok… you have fun…
Tell your boy friend I said hi…
Bye bye…
Oh man…
Where fuck is the rum….
And coke…
And hookers….
Time to party… mama’s gone!!!!
Come on Mittens…
Let’s play shot for shot…
I wonder how much booze a kitty liver can take…

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